If you lied to someone you are with, you will find fast that it is a regrettable situation. You will realize that trust is the foundation of all relationships and when you have boundaries and you break them, how can your partner trust you?
The other side of that though is that you are human, and you do things wrong. No matter how your intentions are, you might mess up. Lying can be something that shows that things are not right in your relationship.
Messing up and losing a person that you really love can help you to know what true love really is and realize that you do not want to lose them.
If you have found that you are unfaithful or that you have not been there for someone that needs you, then you might be wondering if you can save the relationship that is so important to you.
It might be too late but if you put a lot of effort into it, chances are that you can make things okay. You will have to take responsibility for what you did, you will have to apologize a lot and you will have to take time to rebuild the trust in order to see the situation heal.
The circumstances of each relationship will never be the same but if you want to save your relationship, you need to heal and let them heal.
Put it All out
When you have broken trust of someone that you care about, you have to admit it and be responsible for your actions.
You know what happened and so do they and if you have been unfaithful, for example, you do not have to give all the details but you do need to admit that you were wrong, what you did and even the smallest lies that you told.
If you decide that you want to make the relationship work, do not just sweep things under the rug like they did not happen but instead you need to tell the truth and let it come out and come out fast.
Confess if you have lied and all the lies that led up to it. When your partner realizes that you are being completely honest, you might be able to fix it but the opposite is that if you are still lying, they will know and you will never fix it.
Understand Why
You have to learn to get your trust back with your partner. You need to understand why you broke their trust. Be honest with what you thought and do not let the truth get away from you. Face the problem and what brought them about.
Do not try to blame your partner but you need to understand what led to your behavior.
Saying Sorry
When you tell your partner the truth, do not try to justify why you did what you did but instead apologize and really mean it.
Keep eye contact and tell them what is in your heart. Do not say it won’t happen again but make sure what you say is true from your heart.
If you feel that you will repeat your behavior, figure out if the relationship is really right for you or if you might should move on and go separate ways.
Listen
Always listen to what your partner says after you apologize. Allow them to be angry and to vent and to say what they need to say. Listen to what they are saying and understand.
Get Help
Some people need to get a counselor or a therapist in order to get fixed. When this happens and you need to get help, find out a way that you can forgive each other and go to counseling if you need to.
Take Time
Nothing happens overnight and nether will building your trust. Depending on how big the hurt is will be how long it takes for your partner to forgive you and be okay.
If you really want the relationship to work, you have to be patient and give them time to come to you. You still need to be on your best behavior, and you can start building trust.
Don’t Expect Sorrow
You should never expect your partner to feel bad for you. They will not want to vent to you or cry on your shoulder and they will not feel sorry for you at this time. Allow that to be.
Show You Changed
From now on you need to make sure that your actions are pure and good. Keep your word when you make a promise and tell your partner what you are up to.
Don’t Make Promises
If you cannot fulfill a promise, do not make it. Always reinforce yourself when you do make promises and keep them. Right now, they cannot trust you and you have to build on that.
Forgive Yourself
You have to learn to forgive yourself of your mistakes. No one always is perfect, and you have to stop hating yourself for what you have done.
Stop worrying about what you did and put your energy into being a better person. Work on your relationship so you can see it fixed and you can become happy again.