Some people are single because they want to be single and they do not want to deal with having relationships that are serious at that point in their life. Other people are single because they have different things going on such as they might have just gotten out of a relationship or they haven’t found anyone that they have clicked with in a while.
When it comes to finding someone and being in a relationship, some people can feel like they are a victim and they will choose not to get hurt and so they will choose to be single. We can make a choice if we are going to meet someone or if we are going to focus on how people have hurt us or what people can do to hurt us.
Being Defensive
Some people have been hurt in relationships and it can be a painful thing. Being hurt can bring bitterness and this can happen even before our first date, even from our childhood. Sometimes people will look at the world negatively because of how others have treated them.
If you have been neglected or mistreated, having a relationship can be harder because it is hard to keep those feelings at bay. We sometimes will blame others and the world for our being single and we forget to look inside of ourselves.
Attraction
When we are defensive, we will choose people that will not give us a relationship that we deserve. We will sometimes turn off our emotions and we will seek people that will give us pleasure but it will not be intimate. Sometimes we are worried so much about a rejection that we continue in this pattern.
Most people that do this will not face their fears and will imagine themselves being mistreated and used and this can make it hard to meet someone.
Afraid of Intimacy
Some people are afraid of being intimate because of a negative self-image. Having a negative self-image can cause people to not want to be intimate with their partner. They will refuse that and can only get so close to someone.
Some people are so closed off to themselves that it is impossible for them to let someone in even though they want to be in love.
Being Picky
People that are defensive are sometimes more judgmental than other people. They will come across as pickier but the truth is that they are just trying to be strong and not have strong feelings for someone out of fear.
When we see the world from eyes that are hurting, it is hard to think about dating someone and finding someone that will treat you right. Finding someone that can make you happy for a long time seems impossible.
Some people will be standoffish towards people for a long time even if they like them. This can cause the relationship to never go anywhere because it is hard for some people to let their guard down and let someone in. Never close off your feelings and let people around you that can really make you happy.
Low Self-Worth
People that have no self-esteem believe that they will never be good enough to be in a relationship. They believe that they are not good enough and that no matter what happens they will fail at it.
Everyone has an inner voice that gives them advise but when the advice is to remain single because you are not good enough, you have to push that voice around and not be down on yourself.
Some people will struggle to meet people because they have such low self-worth that they are not even able to look the other person in the eye.
Fear
People that have low self-worth will be afraid of putting themselves out there to meet new people. They will also be afraid that they will meet someone and someone else better will come along and sway them away.
When fear of competition causes you to be single, it can cause you to miss out on something great. It is better to date and be competitive than to be alone because you are afraid. If something happens, all it can do is increase your self-worth and help you to be stronger.
Isolation
When people get older, they become more comfortable in themselves. Men and women are more successful, and they are self-sufficient so sometimes this is comfortable. When people become more comfortable, they might have less time or energy or desire to meet someone.
When people work, they sometimes want to stay home and stay in just to relax and enjoy their time alone. They might want to watch a movie or just be home. No one will be able to find you or be attracted to you if you hide away in your comfort zone. You have to challenge yourself to move out and to take initiative into meeting people.
You might want to try new activities and meet new friends and people that can make you happy and make you want to go out into the world.
Rules
When people are out of the dating scene for a while, they tend to make rules that make it harder for them to meet other people. Sometimes those rules are that they can only date certain days of the week or there has to be instant chemistry to move on.
When it comes to dating, there needs to be rules but not rules that cannot be broken. Staying up late is one of the most important rules that you should be able to break. You should be able to take risks and to have fun and build the relationship with someone that you find.
Finding someone is not easy but it is best to go on the journey and see what will happen. Everyone has flaws and imperfections but that is what makes each and every person different and special.