So, you met a new guy. You’re attracted to him, and it seems as though the feeling is mutual. He asked you for your number and you’ve exchanged flirty texts. You hung out together a few times…but he hasn’t officially asked you out on a date yet. You have no certainty regarding how he feels about you.
It seems as though he’s into you. You don’t think that the chemistry you’re feeling between you is only one-sided. So, what’s going on? Is he a waste of your time? Or, should you just wait a bit longer before suggesting you venture into relationshipville together?
Maybe he fears that asking you out will ruin your friendship. Maybe he’s so attracted to you that he’s scared. Maybe you intimidate him. Maybe he assumes you’ll just reject him. Maybe he was just kind of attracted to you at first, but not enough to escalate things.
Most women are confused by this gray zone—the uncertainty of feeling some level of interest from a guy, but nothing ever seems to come of it, so they can’t be sure of how he feels.
But you do know. You can tell if he’s somewhat into you and has good times with you but doesn’t like you enough, or he likes you but he just doesn’t seem to think that the two of you will work as a couple, then he’s probably not your Mr. Right. It’s obvious. You know.
In situations like this, it’s difficult not to take things personally. But not every woman can be a match with every man she’s attracted to. Everyone’s not going to be compatible with each other. Or, sometimes the timing is just off, and that’s out of your control.
But What If?
Another reason many women get frustrated is that they cling to their notion of how they wish things were, rather than seeing the situation for what it truly is. You want to be in a romantic relationship with a guy, so you focus on any inkling of a sign that he may want one with you, too. You’re fixated exclusively on random single pieces of the puzzle, rather than assembling them to see the big picture.
When perceived one at a time, a puzzle piece is ambiguous. You’re forced to interpret independently what it means. Applying this obsessive thought process to a relationship turns it into a game of “emotional detective.” Women dig into their observations and memories, sift through all the details no matter how insignificant, to try to discover hidden messages and secret codes they think the guy is communicating. But playing this game can only achieve one thing: drive you crazy!
The problem is that you’re assuming that analysis and obsession over every detail will result in some type of payoff—that you’ll be somehow rewarded for all the effort, energy, and time you spend trying to figure out what’s going on. But you won’t be.
Guys Express Their Interest
In general, men are goal-oriented. So, when there’s something that they want, they go after it. It would run counter to a man’s instincts to feel attracted to a woman, observe an opportunity to be with her, and decide to turn away.
Men typically don’t play games, mislead women, or manipulate them. When a man likes a woman, he’s drawn to her and wants to be around her. He takes advantage of opportunities to talk to her. He wants to be a presence in her life and give her special attention he gives to nobody else.
He’s excited to see her and lights up when he’s around her. He enjoys spending time with her and wants to get to know her more. He hopes that once he does, a relationship will develop.
It’s Obvious
You know when a guy likes you. You see signs in everything: how he looks at you, how he talks to you, and how he incorporates you into his life.
When you know, you don’t have to worry about the future of the relationship or get stressed out about it. Even if you’re just casually seeing each other but haven’t officially begun dating yet, you don’t obsess. You know how he feels, and so do the people around you. Your friends, family, and even total strangers can see it. It’s just that obvious. If he likes you enough to want to begin a relationship with you, he’ll make sure that you know.
Focus on You
Focusing on making a guy like you, or spending time figuring out if he already does, will not positively serve you. You should instead focus on loving yourself and on discovering happiness in your life. This is easier to say than to do, but it will make all the difference.
You must trust the timing in your life, and have faith that things will turn out the way they’re destined to. We don’t control much in our lives. You don’t have any control over how a guy feels, or if and when things will happen to and for you. But you can find peace, and accept and love yourself for who you are.
There’s no positive reason to figure out if a guy likes you if he’s not taking action to be with you. Maybe it’s validating for a little while, but if he doesn’t want the relationship that you want, there’s no point in pursuing things. Don’t waste your time and energy trying to force an outcome.
You won’t always be able to explain why things happened a certain way. You can’t make somebody feel something or desire something. You just have to trust that everything will work out.
Life tends to surprise you now and then. So, stop trying to figure out if he likes you. Stop searching for signs and clues. If you’re wondering, you have your answer. If he likes you, it will be obvious.