Hot on the heels of ‘Shit Girls Say’ comes Shit Single Girls Say!

It’s silly. It’s funny. It’s the truth about being single.

Shit Girls Say

I implore you to watch the newest and greatest (click on title, then click on link in new page) from Juliette Lewis.

Because it’s silly. Because it’s hilarious. Because it’s true!

Jackpot

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, ‘Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!’

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I’m not dead, I’m at the car wash…
Sorry if you haven’t heard from me in a while…
My car needed washing again.
I went to the car wash and had to have them re-wash the car 3 times…
They kept missing spots…
So, if you don’t hear from me for a week or so…
I’m at the car wash.

Geoff had six children and was very proud of his achievement. He was so proud of himself that for years he called his wife, Anita, ‘Mother of Six,’ in spite of her regular objections.

One evening, in their retirement years, they go to a party. It is late and Geoff is ready to go home and wants to find out if Anita is ready to leave as well.

Geoff bellows at the top of his voice, “Shall we go home, Mother of Six?”

When I did a google search for a picture of a partridge in a pear tree, I didn’t actually hope to find a picture of Danny Partridge up a tree, however this is what I got, so enjoy.
Now, I would like to regale you with the single gal version of the Christmas classic ‘Twelve Days of Christmas.’

BP announced this morning that they installed a wedding ring around the leaking pipe and it quit putting out.

I’ve never done this to anyone before – I swear!
I recently read an article about a poor, poor Kenyan man (we’ll call him Quityer Complainin), who is suing a group called G10 (not sure how they are able to have this name, as the G10 is more commonly known as a group of industrial countries who consult and cooperate on economic and financial matters, but I digress….).

She’s sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew she would find it.