No joke.
The belief that Big Daddy might be a cokehead cannot be proven at this time, however the fact that he is a Peeping Tom can!
Following the advice of a psychic that I saw a few months ago (I know, I know…), I put a dating profile up online as he felt that I might meet my significant other this month. Yet again, I was contacted solely by salesmen, cheats and liars. And people with their shirts off.. And people who sound like they’re one bad date away from having a relationship with their pet… Exhausted and disgusted at the prospects (or, lack thereof), I decided to check out who had been checking me out. When I scrolled down the list of creeping creeps, Big Daddy’s profile popped up. I was surprised. Shocked. Saddened. Having not spoken since the breakup (it’s been almost 5 months), it brought back all the drama. It also stirred up lots of questions:

Now, I am not a math major, however that is a bad equation!
I would like to say that I was never a fan of the surly and miserable looking K Stew. Although R Pat doesn’t appear much happier, I could never understand the draw of a sullen, miserable woman. I still wonder what on earth is going on with Posh and Becks…
Yesterday, the news broke that Kristin Stewart has cheated on her longtime boyfriend, Robert Pattinson with the director of her last film, Rupert Sanders. Sanders is also a cheating man-whore and is married (to a model, hello!) with children. Yowza. I have always been amazed how R Pat stuck with Kristin for as long as he did, but can anyone explain the draw of this dour and dirty-looking (seriously! like, WTF?!) “dish”? I thought that men are attracted to bright, sunny and sexy singletons… What am I doing wrong here? Do I need to embrace (or, at least, find) my inner vampiric dark side?? Should I become pale, morose and stop washing my hair???

Well, well, well… Maybe that explains his behaviour! Imagine my shock and horror when a mutual friend of mine and Big Daddy’s, told me that he suspects cocaine use (due to recent frazzled encounters). Who knew?! Certainly not me!
Now, I’m no angel, however I am no junkie! Never having tried cocaine, I had to refer to the internet to check the signs of use:

One of the most exciting things about a new relationship is learning to communicate, am I right?!
Um, no, it’s not the most fun but it certainly lays the groundwork. If you can get there. My newest boyfriend, who we’ll call Big Daddy, and I had quite the communication clusterf*ck the other night. Oh yeah, you know, that night… Valentines Day night!
It started out so well. He showed up in a sexy suit with two dozen stunning red roses in hand. Perfection. We talked about our days, revelled in some romance and made out a bit…

Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of G No’s proposal and my acceptance. What a difference a year has made. The anniversary of this ominous occasion was difficult for me. I’m wondering how it was for him.
I have decided to share with you, my reticent readers, the letter he gave me when he proposed. Why? I’m wondering if you can help me make sense of it all. The letter below sounds like it was written by a man who was deeply in love. Nine months later, he ran out the door. Three months later, I am still confused by what has happened. Re-reading the letter hasn’t made this easier to reconcile.
Here goes:

Just when I thought I was making progress moving on from the serious split with G No, I had a nasty reminder of the past show up in my calendar last week. After suffering through a particularly horrendous week at work, I woke up on Friday morning (a beautiful, sunny day), and checked my calendar. All it took to shake my morning up were two words: ‘G No’s Birthday!’ Yech.
I had been reminded of it off and on, when I wasn’t totally distracted by my worrisome work situation. But all of a sudden, there it was. I thought about what I had done for him in the past and how we had celebrated before. I had, months previously, known that I would have done what I always do to celebrate his day: made arrangements for a fun night out, bought one of his favourite desserts and gotten him a thoughtful, heartfelt gift. Not this year.

Mmm… Not so much… Stop the presses! J Lo and Marc Anthony announced their split today. What happened? They sounded like a very happy couple. I must say (because, I’m like that…) that they certainly weren’t matched in attractiveness, which is an indicator of successful couples. She is a sexy stunner and his nickname is Skeletor. J Lo is a ravishing beauty who is always smiling and glowing. Marc Anthony? Not so much. In fact, I’ve seen people on life support who have more of a glow than he does… I can’t say that I understand what the attraction was for her. Does she have a thing for hollow cheeks? Sallow Skin?? The Grim Reaper???

Due to popular request from you, my faithful followers, I am going to address what I feel are the reasons why my former fiance, G No, left. I, along with many others (including professionals), have narrowed it down to 3 main factors:
Fear. Change. Guilt.
The fear? Perhaps of an unfamiliarity with living a new, happy, healthy, balanced way of life with the best possible partner.
The change? Going from single to engaged to homeowner to cohabitant… I know all about it, as I was going through it, too.
The Guilt? Of being happy, I suspect.

I haven’t had one this bad since the morning after my brother’s wedding… This one, like the last, was well-earned.

Last night, I had my best friends over for a housewarming party. It has been almost 3 months since I moved into my new place. Although it did not work out as expected, it is still a fabulous condo and I feel very lucky to live here. This is the place where my friends and family rallied around me when my fiance left. This is the place that has kept me safe through the tears and the sadness. This is the place where I am starting to have more laughs than tears now. This is the place that I enjoy waking up in every morning and coming home to every night. This is the place that housed my fabulous friends last night and has seen much more love in the past few weeks than I ever imagined.

… before you do? Four months before you were supposed to get married?? And one month after your fiance has taken off??? Yep, that’s right! A few weeks ago, I rsvp’d to my brother’s wedding. The wedding that I had anticipated attending with G No was last night. Although I had found a suitable replacement date, it was too late to add a seat at the table, so I managed through it alone. I did, however, end up having 2 dates with me – my super supportive aunt and uncle. At the party, I soon found myself with a suitor, danced the night away and turned down a marriage proposal. All in a night’s work! I wore a beautiful dress and got lots of attention. People couldn’t stop commenting on it and saying what a mistake G No made. And how crazy he must be. Clearly.